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The wounded fawn opens her eyes to an unfamiliar room. I pull the brown comforter up under my chin, it’s freezing in here. I turn to see Fundude sleeping. Oh Lord. My head aches from another night of self-pity, self-loathing, regret and devastation and depression and whatever other negative words I can muster. Red wine,Continue reading “PART THREE: Chapter 68: Stripped”

I rip the half unzipped boots off my feet and run. I bolt out the door after Jackdude, my everything, the love of my life. NOOOO!! Don’t go! Why are you leaving? What just happened?? I haul my drunken ass after him, but he’s faster and I’m out of shape and he easily outstrips me,Continue reading “INTERLUDE: Chapter 67: Dead Woman Walking”

It’s all my fault. Or is it? I’ll never know for sure. Jackdude and I are madly in love. He meets my friends. They adore him. I do get a bit of a heads up from one friend that gee whiz, he sure can put away the Jack Daniels, and another, Monica, your relationship seemsContinue reading “Chapter 66: 52 Pickup”

My brain is on a fishing expedition. words…come on, Monica, choose carefully and speak…only…the right words… It’s going pretty slow, this lake may be heavily tainted with fine Tennessee whiskey. My neurons sluggishly reach the surface: “Oh, hi! Churchlady, it’s great to see you!” “Small talk question?” “Small talk answer.” “Small talk question with undercurrent:Continue reading “Chapter 65: Worlds Collide”

Thirty-two perfect, gleaming, bleach-whiter than mine (and I bleach, honey) beautiful pearl soldiers stand at attention in a shining two-row, rank and file dream of a winning smile. And I am a total sucker for a winning smile. I’ve also been down this road too many times already. Not just been down it, but veeredContinue reading “Chapter 64: Jackdude”

I’m sick of the all of it. A variety of men rotate on a carousel in a massive refrigerated glass case. Slices of layer cake, tall calorie-bomb sundaes smothered in whipped cream, tangy lemon bars sprinkled with powdered sugar, demure little petit fours good for one night, big soft cookies laden with chocolate chunks, andContinue reading “Chapter 63: Done”

It’s not my fault. Well, okay, it technically is, I mean, it takes two to tango as they say, or do the horizontal mambo, or go down the old dirt road, or Foxtrot Unicorn Charlie Kilo, or do a load of laundry, or partake in Private Johnson’s Dishonorable Discharge, or pelvic pinochle, whatever you mayContinue reading “Chapter 62: The Seven Dwarves of Dating”

are you into kink… what exactly do you mean? I’m back online fishing and I’ve got me a live one, a big possibility flopping on the line while I decide if he’s legal so I can scale, gut and fry him. So, I’m chatting with Joe Bass and he wants to meet me. Tonight. Now.Continue reading “Chapter 61: The Whole Chicken”

Why did I do it? This was dumb. Did I think something would be miraculously different this time? Yes, she’s living on the edge. I’m going to do the dirty deed. Oh, it’s not what you’re thinking. I’m going to lead worship again. Easter Sunday. The most major holiday of the year in any church,Continue reading “Chapter 60: Deja Pew”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Sportsdude sits next to Fundude, looking smug. I want to backhand that little half smile off his face. SMACK! I can almost hear the satisfying sound. The last time I saw him, I was in a rage, yelling at him for being such a jerk before I stomped out the doorContinue reading “Chapter 59: Too Much Fun, Dude.”