Chapter 29: 020408

Fired.

I just stand there, struck dumb.

“They…FIRED you?!!”

There has been absolutely no warning. Zero pink slips, no bad reviews. in fact I had thought things were looking up, we were adapting to working together and doing what we had been asked, had figured out a way to make the best of this new situation.

At first, I am hopeful. There must be some kind of mistake. Maybe it’s just a warning. How are they going to get away with this when most of the congregation loves us and our ministry? The members of this church and this community look up to DH as a spiritual leader, this would be a horribly unpopular decision. Can they really get away with this? They can, and they did, and this is how.

Allow me to invite DH to step into these pages for a moment, there are only three players in this dreadful tale as it unfolded, and I believe he deserves his own voice in this particular story, the unsuspecting target in the chair at ground zero that day, pin pulled, grenade launched, bits of life-shrapnel flying. In my mind it evokes first-act scenes of James Bond films, a group of businessmen all sitting at a conference table when suddenly one’s chair tips back and dumps the infidel not on board with the plan right the slap out the window, cue Wilhelm scream.

DH:

I walk into the church building, expecting to carpool with two other pastors and head out for a Pastor’s conference. Upon entering the building, the church secretary (remember Sportie and Sidekick? Sidekick is now the Pastoral assistant/Secretary. Figures. Ok, I’ll quit interrupting.) informed me I needed to meet them in Pastor Jock’s office. I did, and saw PJ sitting at his big shiny new Lead Pastor desk, facing his computer.

I had a seat, and PJ said a couple things I don’t remember, but summarized some of our recent unpleasantness…the punchline being “we have decided your days at this church have come to an end.”

I was stunned. This caught me completely off guard. Other followup words ensued, Pastor 2 in agreement. This was a Monday morning, and I was told to have my office cleared out by the end of the week.

There were no advance warnings or indication this were a thing that could happen, like you would expect in an ethically run business, but churches do not have to abide by those pesky HR laws like those other worldly businesses.

This was way too much to process at once. Not only the fact that I had invested my life in this place for 10 years. but also the fact that this was a sole income loss just as the great recession of 2008 was getting rolling. I did my best to respond calmly and graciously, while dying inside. Job-wise, I had no plan B. I had already long given up my previous profession of choice, so that I could pursue this life of higher purpose.

Then, Pastor Jock handed me a prewritten letter for me to sign.

My resignation letter.

Despite my completely disoriented state of mind, I did have enough clarity to see that
the purpose of my signing it was to make it appear as if I had decided to leave the church,
and therefore make it look like they had not fired me. In my catatonic condition, I still knew enough to refuse to sign that document-so it would be on them to explain to the church that they fired me.

Only they didn’t do that.

The following Sunday morning they explained we were leaving (there’s an audible collective gasp on the recording of that service, this shocked the congregation as much as it did us), and that there would be a special church meeting that night to explain what happened.

In this meeting, they explained that Monica and I had decided to step down.

A complete fabrication.

Of course, I wasn’t there to hear this for myself, I had to hear it back through our friends who were in the meeting.

We did indeed have friends who saw through this charade, and decided to cut ties with the church over seeing this level of self-protective deception from the leadership. But of course, most people accepted this as truth from the Man of God, and it became the accepted narrative within the church. And once the myth was accepted, I had no way to convincingly tell the truth, which was that I was abruptly fired from my ministry position of 10 years without any warning.

Back to the meeting, both pastors gave me a hug in Christian “love” and I numbly drove home to tell Monica and the kids.

And he did, and we all sat there in shock, the rug has been pulled out but all is suspended and is waiting for time and gravity to legally demand all of it crash to the ground.

All that week, DH cleaned out his office. Papers, planners, family pictures and instruments paraded back to our house, a somber homecoming of ten year’s evidence, boxes glaring at me from the foyer shouting YES THIS JUST HAPPENED in the face of my denial. Ain’t just a river, ha ha.

At first, we thought this wouldn’t happen, this COULDN’T happen, how can they get away with this? They would change their minds, maybe the congregation would demand….

But once they fed the congregation the lie that we had stepped down, we knew we were done. I mean, what could we do? They had the platform, they had the audience, they had the Man of God, you gotta believe the Senior Pastor, right??

We even discuss taking out an ad in the local paper explaining the reality, but our plans are quickly foiled by realizing this would only make us look even worse, sour grapes spilling rotten wine all over Tiny Town.

Not only were we done, but because they had chosen to create the narrative that we stepped down, it was implied there was something we had done wrong, why would we step down when things were going so well?

Where there is a void of information, people will fill it with their own fanciful explanations…and THOSE tall tales of darkness and debauchery are only beginning.

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ps yes that’s an Easter egg